Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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