I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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