I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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