My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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