i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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