Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
