i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
