ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
