i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
