I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
