I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
