Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
