i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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