Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
