Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize