I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
