EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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