my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize