nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
