Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
