Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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