NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
