So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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