the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
