Having a random hookup so left but love u
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This is the high leading the old right now
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
