I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
