If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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