I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize