just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
