So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
where are my eyebrows?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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