Don't make out with my wife yet
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Randomize
