did you get engaged???
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
What a dumb baby whore.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
