Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
