I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
