This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize