every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
