Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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