Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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