Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
