I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
