During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My underwear smells like fireworks.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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