so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You were trust falling into bushes
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
