That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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