i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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