I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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