What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
