The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
