hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I need to stop coming to work sober
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize