Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
