Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Text me some of your sweat
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
