If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
