I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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