I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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