i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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