You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize