i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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