Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize