I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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