I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
