fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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