Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
