I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
