When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
