i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
