you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
