No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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