I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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