I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Life is so much better after having sex.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
