If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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