i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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