who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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