the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
