I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
They took my balls.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
